Silence rule and darkness empower but there was a dead soul still breathing in the room. The little indicates the acquaintance of the human being and it was hard to believe that there was an occupant in the room. She never bothers to open curtains to let the sun rays peep through the windows and the house was hardly dusted. Initially people wonder why she was like that but gradually they forgot she even existed. No one knew the reason.
Yangzi blinked in the dark room and laid there lifeless. She reflects her earlier life. It was never like this and it was completely different and she was purely happy in her world and she wondered why did it go wrong and she knew where did it go wrong and feels like restarting everything. How hard she try she never could forgive herself and all said that it was just an accident but she knew that though it was an accident but the fact that she was a ‘murderer’ cannot be denied. She even met psychiatrist but she barely made any progress.
Friends hardly recognized her and when did they there was doubt in their eyes: once known for the glow and radiance in face was now replaced by dull, exhausted and little wrinkled face, the dark circle and tiring eyes has over shadowed the sparkles and mischievous in her eyes, full time smiles that stretches her lips to the full length has totally vanished and her carefree hand gestures was nowhere to be seen.
On that day she was floating with the happiness when she found out that her dream was finally going to be turned into reality. She was damn excited. Finally her dream of creating a home for the orphan or neglected child like her was approved and she has sanctioned loan. She had design her own dream house and only thing left was to turn into reality. Now all formalities were over and she could start with the construction in a week.
In joy she never forgot to take an ice cream for her dear son and with the smile on her lips she drives jovially to her home. She knew that her little angel must be impatiently waiting for her to return. When she was barely minutes away from home, her cell starting ringing and while answering, it slipped from her hand. While picking her cell, she suddenly lost control over the stirring wheel and it happened so quickly that only she knew was that she hit something. With hard bang on forehead everything went blank.
She woke up with the pain in her head and she wondered where she was when she did not see her usual ceiling. Suddenly she felt the bolt in her heart as she remembered that she had an accident. Seeing her gain consciousness, her babysitter came forward with the swollen eyes and she hugged her in the sob. Yangzi said, “It’s ok Dema, I am absolutely fine and where is Chechen?” Dema ran out of the room and Yangzi saw a strange looks in the eye of medical staffs. She questioned them with her enquiringly eyes and all suddenly drops their gaze and some went away without saying anything to her. She wondered what is wrong with them.
Doctor came for checkup and he sat for a while and with the difficulty he began, “Yangzi, you should listen carefully and you must stay strong” she felt the weight of his words,” we all know that it was just an accident and no one should be blamed...” she knew it was accident but why was he telling these things she wondered, “You hit somebody with your car” this time she interrupted, “what? who?” with hesitation he said,” I am sorry, but your son….”she did not hear the rest of the words and everything went blank again.
How could that be possible, she was carrying an ice cream for him and they were saying that he doesn't exist anymore? It was like yesterday when he came in her life with abundant of happiness and how was she supposed to believe that she killed him with her own hand which were meant to bring him up. She stopped his walking practice at one shot and she would never hear any more sweet words “Mommy” that wipe her tiredness . If she has known his fate, she would have never brought him with her. She thought that she will give him everything he deserves and death was not what he really deserves and she never intended to give him. If she had known that she will kill him then no matter how hard his life would have been with his biological mother, she would never have brought him just to destroy everything in one second. She killed him with her own hand. She should have been more responsible and her carelessness made him to lose his dear life. She did not gave him life and she never had a right to take his life but she did.