Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Because of You By Kelly Clarkson (Lyrics)

~I will not makeThe same mistakes that you did,I will not let myself'Cause my heart so much misery.
I will not breakThe way you did, you fell so hard.I've learned the hard wayTo never let it get that far.
Because of you,I never stray too far from the sidewalk.Because of you,I learned to play on the safe side,So I don't get hurt.
Because of youI find it hard to trust,Not only me, but everyone around meBecause of you, I am afraid.
I lose my wayAnd it's not too long before you point it out.I cannot cryBecause I know that's weakness in your eyes.
I'm forced to fakeA smile, a laugh, every day of my lifeMy heart can't possibly break,When it wasn't even whole to start with.
Because of you,I never stray too far from the sidewalk.Because of youI learned to play on the safe sideSo I don't get hurt.
Because of you,I find it hard to trustNot only me, but everyone around meBecause of you, I am afraid
I watched you die, I heard you cryEvery night in your sleep.I was so young, you should have knownBetter than to lean on me.
You never thought of anyone else,You just saw your pain.
And now I cry, in the middle of the night, for the same damn thing.Because of you,I never stray too far from the sidewalkBecause of youI learned to play on the safe sideSo I don't get hurt.
Because of you,I tried my hardest just to forget everything.Because of you,I don't know how to let anyone else in.
Because of you,I'm ashamed of my life because it's emptyBecause of you, I am afraid.
Because of You,Because of You.~
Nice and touching song worth listening :) (:

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

What to Write?

I am bored and thought of updating my blog which I haven’t done for few weeks. I don’t have any specific topic on my mind to write. I wondered what I should write. May be sad tear jerking story, or memorable experiences with friends, or may be happy family reunion during vacation or thought provoking topic to explore, or may be some serious current issues to discuss and argue, or simple things I am experiencing in my daily life, list continues and I kept wondering.

While wondering and fussing over the topic which I should choose to write on, a line below blog topic caught my eyes “I write what I feel J”  and it strikes right on my head why do I have to fake things and force myself to write a thing which I am not feeling moreover it strongly contradicts with the above line. One way or other, there is a strong connection between the content of the writing and mood of the writer. I believe the piece of writing is the mirror of the writer but it might not be true for all. So I am not sad to write a sad and tear jerking story, I have many worthy and memorable experiences with friends but I just don’t feel like writing right now (maybe I will someday when I feel like) and I don’t have any thought provoking topic to explore and I don’t find any serious current issues worth discussing and arguing right now.

I am confused and don’t know what to write. I don’t know what I am writing and it may not make any sense to those who happens to read this. I wondered what to write and I am still wondering what I am writing and now I am done with the writing but I still don't know what I wrote but I wrote what I was feeling. 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Questions I Couldn't Answer

It was the day to return to school; our two weeks long summer vacation had drawn to a close. Time flees quickly; it was just yesterday when I came home with excitement and now have to go back to school. Sadness plagues me as I have to part from parents and yet there is strange happy feeling about meeting friends again, going to class, eating from mess, playing games, studying and all. With mixed feelings, father and I began our journey. The white cloud protectively shield the earth from the angry blazing sun, the earth looked fresh from the morning shower of rain. Weather was just the way I loved, moderate.

Journey began with advices and hopes of father with me agreeing to work harder. Then the low volume music filled the car gradually leading me to sleep. The vague dreams of mine were disturbed when vehicle abruptly stopped. I saw a long queue of vehicles infront of us, as usual I predicted it because of the block due to landslides or expansion of highways but I was wrong.

I saw the circle of people and heard the clear screaming of the women, curse me I predicted something bad like accident might have happened. I was scared to go but curiosity overruled my fear as I proceeded to the scene after my father to the spot which was nearly 30-40m away from our vehicle. There was huge crowd and I had to squeeze myself to see what was really happening. To my utter shock the scenario was the worse than I expected.

I saw a heavily built man beating a woman in the middle of road. He was kicking, punching and dragging from her hair. The woman tried her best to fight back but she was no match to the man. She screamed, cried and fought back. The man cursed her of infidelity and called her all sort of filthy names. Despite her physical weakness, woman equally answered verbally and blamed that man is the one who isn’t faithful. It was obvious that they were husband and wife and also from the way man talked and walked it was clear that he was little drunk. Whenever woman answered him, he beat her brutally using all his force. Irony of the situation was that despite huge crowd of people, there wasn’t single soul to help the woman. Everyone watched her getting beaten and some walked away saying that it was husband and wife’s usual scenario, some pitied the women, some said she deserves it. I couldn't move even I wanted to, I was shocked, it was just like scene from Hindi movie where goons mercilessly and brutally beat a weaker one, difference was only that the scene from movie wasn't real but an acting and here it was real not  an acting. Then my father came and asked me to go inside the car.

After sometime, I don’t know who informed but police came and stopped the man from further beating and cleared the traffic. We resumed our journey but this time it was the silence which overruled the car. Father didn't say anything and I too didn't ask anything. I closed my eyes but sleep was miles away with rapid fire of questions popping out in my mind.

Is that man a human being or an animal? If he is a human being he acts worse than an animal and if he is an animal he is in a form of human being. Why that woman has to suffer from his hand? Is it because she depends on him as she is an illiterate? Or is she bearing because of the children’s they have? Is she accepting it as her ‘usual’ happenings of her life as one of the man mentioned earlier? Is she silent because of her mistake? Even she had committed mistake, isn't it forgivable as everyone make mistake at some point? Isn't there anyone like family or parents to rescue her? Will it continue till end of her life or will that man stop using force on her? Does she have guts to walk away from him and take legal action against him? OR is she accepting it as her fate like most of the women in the world?

Those were the some questions which I couldn't answer myself.

N.B: This is a work of fiction. My sis asked me to help with the story writing for her assignment during vacation. I gave a try :p