“A cup of tea.” I said.
“Anything else.” She asked.
“No, thanks. I just had a lunch.” I said. I looked into the diagonal pattern of table cloths in red and white, stain from ezay was still there. Mental note to self, if I open a restaurant, never to buy a white linen clothes. But white is a color of purity, only if you can keep it clean.
I started guessing the dimension of the room, looking at the atheistic view of particle board paneling on the wall but timber paneling would have been better, rich creamy colour of wall and I was doing everything to keep myself from running away.
Run away but why and from whom?
“Hey? Tshering? Why are you so lost?”
I jerked from the inner monologue and her confused inquiring eyes made me more perplexed.
“Huh? Sorry, nothing.” I said and looked into beautiful frame with a black and white painting of an old man. I stopped breathing when I looked at the serenity and contentment on his face despite ragged clothes, barefoot and scarred face.
“Tssheringgg.” Her cautious voice gently tugged me out from envious happiness of old man in a painting.
“Huh…yes.” I noticed a cup of tea in front of me and coffee on her side.
“You are doing it again.” She said sternly.
“What?” my mind fail to assemble what she was saying.
“Mumbling to yourself, cracking knuckles and existing in different world.”
“Huh?” I asked.
“What is bothering you?”
to be happy, which seems impossible for me. Am I asking too much?”
“What do you mean by wanting to be happy? Aren’t you happy?”
“I know I should be happy: I having a successful and stable career, loving people around me, have everything needed in life except happiness.”
“Define happiness.” I avoided her intensifying glare.
“Something is not right. There is no inner peace, I am perplexed and agitated all the time. I am not satisfied with life. Look at that picture on the wall. All I want is serenity and contentment in that old man’s face. Look at him, he has nothing yet everything.” I saw people around me, staring. Maybe I was louder than I intended.
“Why aren’t you happy?”
I didn’t bother to answer as I gulped a cold tea in a one go. Coldness of a tea didn’t bother me but life did.