Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Rescue

He saw her crying,
And he was at her rescue.
Pulling her out of darkness
And letting her glimpse of light
For a fraction of seconds
Before pushing her deeper
To the valley of darkness.
She wept her heart out
Till it compels him
To go to another rescue
Which she refused bitterly.
He held her tight
And they wept whole night
In each other’s embraces
And prayed for the rescue.

             ~T.Chekii



Monday, February 16, 2015

Never Quit




“You can’t write a word. Don’t waste your time, better quit and focus on your studies.” A monster within me warned today as usual.

“I will never quit.” I stressed more on ‘never’ and I mean it.

“Nobody give damn to piece of shit you write.”

“I do.” I was losing to her.

“You have been practically wasting your time staring at blank screen for weeks or chewing pen cap without writing a word.” She was right.

“The earlier you understand, better it will be.” She added.

A silence prevailed for a minute as I couldn’t defend myself.

“May be you should learn to accept that it is not meant for you. May be it never was.”

A tear drop fell on my notebook. She was being cruel and I hate that she was part of me.

“The paused pages of diary, incomplete stories on MS word, not updating on blog and not able to tell the stories that have been buried inside you is as clear as crystal that you must quit.” She had a point.

“I was bus..” she cut me off.

“For heaven sake, don’t fall into the cliché of excuses.” She retorted.

“But I was busy.” It was not enough.

“When you try something, never leave anything in middle. Either try with all effort or don’t try at all.”

She was right but I wasn’t wrong.

The moment I thought I couldn’t write a single word is the moment I actually started writing.





Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Mind Your Own Business



I grabbed a handbag and rushed towards bus station. I nearly missed a bus while eating fried rice from a nearby restaurant. I was still catching my breath when I sat next to an elderly woman. She looked at me for a brief second and turned away preferring to look at scenery outside. I made myself comfortable and took out an earplug and listened music. I am not very fond of travelling, I get a travel sickness. I closed my eyes while Luke Bryan soothingly sang my favorite ‘Play it again.’

The bus braked abruptly jerking the passengers out of seat. I woke up and heard a frustrated moan from the men sitting behind. The bus safely parked by nearby shoulder. We haven’t travel an hour from 10 hours journey towards Samdrup Jongkhar and the vehicle broke down. It was a usual case, the fact that driver isn’t prepared for a long journey frustrated me more. Looked like it was going to take some time. Thank god! I have eaten breakfast otherwise I would be starving. I looked at a withdrawn woman sitting next to me.

The journey was achingly going to be a long one. Not liking an idea of sitting long without uttering a single word with a seat partner, I broke an ice of a silence. “Ama, don’t you want to go out? The bus broke down and it looks like it’s going to take some time to get repaired.”

She feebly stared at my face without any response. I am not very observant but I could see an undeniable sadness in her wrinkled face. I repeated the question little louder this time, probably assuming that she might have difficulty in hearing.

“Mind your own business.” She rudely retorted slapping a sense in me.  I was trying to be nice but sometimes some people just don’t appreciate it. I felt my face warming up with an embarrassment. I just couldn’t get it out of my mind which slowly started igniting anger in me. I suddenly felt suffocated needing to get out of bus more than anything. In urgency I stood up and at least had a courtesy to nod my head to a woman before I stepped out of the bus.

Outside, a chilling morning breeze was still blowing in a thin jungle of West Bengal. I scanned the area hoping to find something interesting enough to distract me from souring my mood. Nearly after 48 minutes of waiting, the driver instructed the loitering passengers to get inside.

With a mixed feeling, I boarded on bus. I silently seated still clinging on a rude outburst of a woman. Who told you to interfere? Served you right…my mind started singing. I couldn’t help watching at an unknown woman faced window. Once again, I stole a glance and there she was wiping fallen tears with her forefinger. I froze…I could neither ignore nor offer a help or condolences. 

Without turning my head, my pupil averted to right corner to see an unknown woman. She clamped her lip as tears freely made way down the cheek. The words clogged at my throat and hand froze in a midway. She needed a space to sort her feelings and tears. Best was to leave her alone without interruption.

Clueless…I forced myself to sleep as nausea won over the crying woman next to me. Bus stopped waking me again. This time, it had stopped for a breakfast. I preferred to stay inside as it was drizzling outside plus I wasn’t hungry. A woman didn’t even budge. Her gaze was fixed outside; I doubted she was really looking. Something was not right with her.

My mind started playing detective trying to solve a mystery of a sad, angry and distracted woman. Why was she travelling alone? You are travelling alone too. She must be dumb…you are dumb. Remember how she told you to mind your business. May be she lost a beloved one…Possible…she may be going or coming from a funeral. What if she is dead and you are sitting with an avenging ghost? You might have unknowingly caused her death. I shuddered and discarded the detective game. It was taking me to graveyard of thoughts.

The journey was resumed. So did she, continue facing at window and occasional wiping of tears. Her mind was occupied and possessed with the things I desperately wanted to know. As expected, she chooses to stay inside during lunch stop. Then it struck in my mind that she might not have money to eat. I didn’t have much but had enough for two. I gathered my courage expecting a retort “Ama, let’s go and eat lunch. “
She stared at me for what felt like a millennium, and then she nodded left and right and said “You go and eat. I am not hungry.”
I insisted “You didn’t even eat breakfast. Let’s go, I will pay.”
“No, I am fine. Thank you.” She said. I understood the hesitation, not pushing further. I went, ate and brought some snacks and juice for her.

Knowing that a woman wasn’t the type who will accept help from a stranger, I opened and offered her snacks. Hesitantly at first but eventually she managed to have few bites from a pack. For whole journey, she didn’t sleep; just continued staring at outside. I slept, listened to music, ate snacks and finally reached destination alas.

I was glad when I saw my uncle and aunt at bus station. I hurriedly gathered my luggage and resign for a day. A day was not a pleasant one and I couldn’t get an image of crying woman out of my mind. I shrugged off the images immediately and ordered myself to mind my own business.



Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

I have people to thank, blogs to read, stories to tell….chill…chill…go slow…one by one at a time with a smile. I assume I am the last one to accept the amazing award, though I don’t deserve it at all. I am not sure of inspiration I had been but I am deeply inspired by the all the bloggers. Thank you Ma’am Rima, Aue Tshering Om, Jigme Zangpo, Karma Wangzom and Kipchu Namgyel for nominating me. You guys are an inspiration yourself.

Following are few rules to be followed by Award Recipient; 

1. Thank the person with link who nominated you.
2. Display the Award on your blog and list the rules to be followed.
3. Describe seven points about yourself
4. Nominate fifteen bloggers for the award through links and inform them about the nomination.

When I looked at single digit 7, I thought too less to describe myself. Then I was eating my nails for almost an hour trying to gather the things about myself and another hour getting to know myself. Finally I concluded that I don’t know much about myself. I am such a contradiction. I am an epitome of confusion. I don’t know what I am or who I am?

Well here are the scratched 7 facts about me.
1.      People find me easy to be with. I laugh and make friends easily. I love getting to know different people, may be that is the reason people feel that I am jolly though I would describe myself as ‘funny’.

2.      I sometimes think that nanny or nursery teacher is the best profession for me. I love little kids so much that my friends call me ‘Bacha Chor’. I melt with their innocence. Leave me with a bunch of kids, I won’t mind. Don’t be surprised if all of us are muddled with mud when you get back.

3.      I am never silent. Even my silence isn’t silent.

4.      I am a nerve wracking nervous student. It is in the list of 20 things I hate and I am working on it. Hope to conquer the nervousness soon.

5.      I feel nausea while travelling. I wasn’t very fond of visiting places but recently I discovered that it isn’t that bad. I am beginning to love it and have already made a list of places I want to visit ***soon***.

6.      I have few regrets and made some blunder mistakes. The greatest one in a college is that I lost in a friendship. Have been dragging for real long and finally I am letting it go. I can’t change the past so I am not holding on it any longer. I forgive us for the little differences which created a greater gap between us.

7.      2015 has been a great start. Elatedly looking forward to end well. Have few stories to share and hope I can squeeze the time to write down.

All the bloggers have been recipient of this award, I won’t make another list but nominate all the fellow bloggers for this award. Keep writing and inspiring the people. Have a nice day.