After A Break

Greetings From Trashiyangtse!

When I sleep little earlier than usual, I woke up little early. Isn't that little obvious? Little early as in 2:47 am, then I realized I am starving with 'too scared to walk three steps' to grab something to eat. As I deny my stomach, my mind starts a serious marathon of all worst possible horror movies I watched and ghosts stories I remember. I feel creepy fingers at my back, ready to strangulate and choke me. The heaviness in heart get clogged in throat. Shortness of breath, stagnates life and the vulnerability at its peak. I can hear distant yet clear barking of dogs, to my relief. Then I realized I like noise better than the silence. Ironically, silence is the loudest thing I can hear, exceptionally wrecking my nerves.

In the wee hour I thought of all the thoughts swirling on my mind flourishing with the memories of yesteryear, nostalgic of those precious moments, forever sealed in heart. The moments faded in the chaos of life but something precious always remain buried in us. Then I begin the dissection of my likely future, not so pleased with where it is headed. Preoccupied with past and future, I was letting pass my present. I tamed my heart to concentrate on moments; the complete silence, total blackout and chaotic mind. The silence was broken by the chaos in my mind, the darkness conquered by the dawn of hope awakening in my heart. The shimmering hope was blazing with the positive thoughts I fed. It was in the darkness, I saw my soul clearly.

The chaos settled eventually to get replaced by the serenity of the moments of isolation from the world. In the process of building a shelter, I am building myself scratch by scratch and inch by inch.
Then I took my phone, dialled and I am greeted by sleepy voice “Hello! Isn’t little too late to call?”
“Not late to miss a person and let know.” I hear myself crackling with the million smiles.



READING something that is not WRITTEN

I want to read something that is not written. 
A piece that speaks out my emotions like pus 
oozing out of the wound (bad choice of comparison)
 or something I will feel like it hits perfectly on my 
soul, and it will clear all the fog of doubts before my 
eyes. Something that gives me an inner peace, 
soothing me with happiness, making my heart 
jump in joy with the revelation so profound. 
Something like an answer to my quest closing the 
gap between my curiosities and doubts. Something
which will lift me up higher to the ecstasy and 
speak higher volume of truth.  May be piece describing
the cause of my mood swings every hour or just a 
reminder to let me push myself further to meet the victory 
margin with the smile. Or something which tells me 
what is going on with my life, like a simple guide 
book to live my life.


And I must write that for myself. 

It Changes

Once it meant a world to me
But now it barely budge me
The person I thought I couldn't live without
Is just a distant memory with a lesson
Chunk of friends I used to hang out
Played the role and are really gone
People I couldn't stand are by my side
Cheering, jeering and loving all the same
Then this person