Friday, February 28, 2014

Premonition

Year 2002

An apprehensive feeling overwhelmed me; a fear of unknowns robbed me of peace. These feelings had been dragging since a week ago. I alienated myself from the circle of friends. An appetite had been reduced to mere survival. The concentration in the class evaporated from me inviting the glare and scolding from the teachers. I got severely tangled in the net of confusion.

In the night, I would lay awake battling with the sleep. Something was devastatingly eating me from inside. I would wake up sweating profusely and trembling terribly with the dream of wars and bloodshed everywhere. Then I would weep till the last tears were squeezed from the eyes. Something was definitely wrong, but I couldn’t figure what.

With the red swollen eyes, I would proceed to the class like a robot. My best friend Sonam would ask me every time I see her “What is wrong with you, Pema?” As usual I would shrugged off and move my head horizontally without uttering a single word. Wished I knew what was wrong with me so I could tell to Sonam about it (I wanted to tell but I didn’t know how). Nevertheless she always stood by my side. One by one friend started distancing from me due to my coldness yet Sonam stood by me cheering and narrating her favorite soap-opera show she watched in the home and sometimes listening to my silence. She would bring snacks in the school and share with me, though I hardly ate.

During weekend, we would study together and take tuition from her father in her house. I felt bad when her father scolded her for being careless in studies and would feel guilty when he asked her to learn from me. The moment her father went outside, she would naughtily wink at me and we would giggle. Her mother would bring us tea and snacks in the interval and we would enjoy heartily. Those were the pinnacle of our friendship.

That particular Saturday when we were studying in her house, Matron came looking for me and said that my uncle had come from village to take me home. I knew something was wrong and it was right. Hesitantly she added that my father passed away. Fighting the tears that blinded me, I gathered my books and stood up with the heaviness in the heart. Sonam blankly stared at me and hugged me tightly and whispered in my ears “Will you come back?”
I couldn’t answer her as I didn’t know whether I would be able to come back or not. I burst out in Sonam’s shoulder with shuddering sob soaking her blue t-shirt. Matron gently tugged me to move forward. I made my way never daring to turn back to her.

As I saw uncle Tashi, I ran and embraced him with the hope that ma’am might be wrong. His freshly wiped eyes told me everything. On the way, he told me that father had been sick for more than a month and had asked them several times to bring me home. I wept openly remembering his face vividly and voice clearly calling me ‘Youngmin’. I was the only and pampered child. Like a jigsaw puzzle, whole things fitted perfectly in the frame; the sleepless apprehensive night of mine and the yearning of my father to see me once before his last breath.

We walked miles and miles with the sun waving goodbye from the farthest horizon and at dusk we reached at house where home was shattered.

.....to be continued.....





Odho Lay by Misty Terrace

Lately I am missing home so much (regretting for not being able to go home this winter as I was working with NHDCLL). I miss getting scolding from Ama for being careless, I miss talking with Ama like a sister, I miss playing with brothers, I miss fighting with my sister, I miss the fun with Apa and his jokes. I miss working in the field, I miss collecting firewood from the nearby jungle. I miss teaming up with Apa to tease Ama. I miss going to Abi and Meme’s home to spend some time with them. I miss every single moment of being at home.

May be that’s the reason when I heard Sharchop song ‘Odho lay’ by Misty Terrace, tears fell willingly from my eyes. The song refreshed every memory and took me back to those days of innocence and happiness. It’s worth listening. A song dedicated to Happy New Year in Bhutanese calender. If you know sharchop, you will definitely love it.


LOSAR TRASHI DELEK

CLick to listen Odho Lay ~ Misty Terrace

Let Me be 'ME' Today

Let me be 'me' today,
With no strings of attachment,
Free from the pressure of responsibility,
Just me with myself.

Let me be selfish today,
Carefree wingless soul for a day,
Blind reckless of no limitations,
Just me with nothing else.

Let me be wild today,
Dance all my heart to the music of nature,
Swirl around with open arms,
Just me twirling beneath the open sky.

Let me be 'me' today,
Counting all the stars above,
Chasing wind all around,
Just for today, nothing more nothing less,
Only me.





Monday, February 24, 2014

The Web of ‘What If’


What if I were a dog in your neighborhood?
Will I bark or bite every stranger on the way?
Or will I mark my territory and guard with sincerity?
Or will I be chased when I no longer can perform duty?

What if I were a boy instead of a girl?
Will I keep my hair short and celebrate my masculinity?
Will I grow out of pain or grow with the drugs?
Will I yell my feelings or wear a mask of seriousness?

What if I am not a Buddhist by birth?
Will I be bowing on my knees with “Allah” from my mouth?
Or will I be customarily going church on Sundays?
Or will I be an atheist with no fear of God?

What if I were born in other countries?
Will I be enjoying the advancement of technology?
Or will I be torn in suicide attack in a minute?
Or will I be a refugee in the camp seeking a freedom?

What if I wasn’t studying engineering?
Will I be a nervous teacher with laughing habit?
Or will I be a caring nurse scared of the blood?
Or will I be a writer in name with nothing to write?

What if I weren’t writing this ‘what if‘ now?
Will I be studying the with the focus?
Or will I be watching movies with the interest?
Or will I be surfing net aimlessly?



Friday, February 21, 2014

Angelic Nature



 I emit the gallon of sparkle to the sky,
And the stars twinkle back with the radiance of warmth.
The trees gently wave to me,
With the notes of wishes in it.
Winds cutely giggle over my prank,
And murmur with the amusement of my life.
The thick cloud playfully winks at me,
Showering with the plenty of love on me.
The motherly earth softly embraces me,
Stealing the laugh from me with the tickle.
The crescent moon teases me from the above,
And blesses me for the rest of life.

Picture Courtesy : Google Images










Wednesday, February 19, 2014

A Messy Day

“Hey! Wait for me. ” I shouted to my friend while hurriedly gathered the necessary items for the class. I locked the room and checked the time, there were still 10 minutes left, with the relief and assurance of reaching class on time, I doubled my speed to catch the friends.

‘Damn it.’ I cursed myself. In speedy action I forgot to bring a calculator, without which I wouldn’t be allowed to enter the class, even if I did, when the tutor finds out I will be chased out of the class with the scalding scolding. If I go back to the hostel, there is no way I can make to the class on time, a minute late and marked absent for a period. ‘Oh! God can’t you make things a little simpler.’

‘Take it easy’ I tried to calm myself and saw the angry rush of air released from the nostril. A day was a mess from the beginning. Woke up and found out only half an hour left to get ready for the class, rushed to the bathroom and forgot to take toothpaste, raced back to the room to get it. Had to compromise with the god with a brief prayer and quick offering of water, hope god will forgive me. I busily replayed the action with the cursing murmur while going back to the hostel.

Something hard blocked my way, a stairway to hell (hostel) I realized. My right ankle got twisted outward, with the realization I tried to firm my grip on the ground, but in dismay, I fell hard on the ground with the loud bang. ‘Ala!” an exasperate moan escaped from me, I swallowed a lump of my own saliva to block the tears which threatened to come out of my eyes.

Saw the blood oozing from my right palm; which happened in defense to support the whole weight of the body had landed on the sharp edge rock which didn’t miss the chances to pierce my palm.

It wasn’t blood on the palm that claimed my attention, but the constriction of pain in the right ankle. Sighing out, I tried in vain to get up. ‘You must be kidding; I can’t sprain my ankle at the moment.’ I muttered to myself. ‘You already did’ my inner voice replied, adding an irritation.

“Sonam! Come here.” I shouted desperately as I saw my friend of electrical department who was going to the boys hostel.
“Why?” he replied bluntly.
“I need your help. I have sprained my leg.” I shouted.
“Stop kidding. I have class at 9 and I need to print lab manual.” He shouted back.
“Fine, thank you.” I replied with the pinch of sarcasm. I again cursed myself for not being serious all the time. When something serious happened in reality, nobody believes because I have been joking around all the time.

I pulled weighing right leg and made my way to the kitchen. I need to meet cook uncle to set it in the normal position. *sighhhh****

“What happened, Ashim?” a sweet voice asked me.

“I sprained my leg.” I pathetically answered to first year girl.

Instantly she lent her shoulder to support me. With the relief I thanked her.

“Where are you going, Ashim? Wouldn’t it better if we go to college infirmary?” she asked.

“Hmm… I am going to the kitchen to meet one of the cook uncles. He kind of takes care of sprain and fracture cases of college.” I explained sounding little foolish to myself.

“Don’t you have classes?” I asked with the guilt.

“I had but it is called off lo.” She replied with the grin.

‘Oh’ I shifted my weight lightly from her shoulder.

It felt like years before we reach to the kitchen and she hastily went in search of cook. Cook uncle came hurriedly wiping his hand in red pattern apron and inspected my ankle immediately. And said it is a minor one.

I felt the slicing pain as cook uncle took my ankle in his hand and shook in left and right direction. I closed my eyes to shun the increasing pain and tighten my fingers to tight fist ball. I felt the nerves in the neck projecting distinctly outward as I gritted my teeth to stop from choking from the pain.

“Take it easy and relax. In a minute, you will be fine.” I heard cook uncle assuring me. My ankle was gently being inspected, but suddenly he accelerated the speed and twisted left with full force. A chirping scream escaped from me and felt the wetness on the cheek.

“It’s done.” Cook uncle informed me. I reluctantly opened my eyes with the sense of embarrassment still hanging around and saw first year girl holding my hand. I shifted my gaze to right and found my cousin and friend Sonam standing in front of me.

“I am really sorry, Tshering. I thought you were joking.” He sounded sincere.

“It’s ok. Don’t you guys have classes?” I asked.

“I have practical class after lunch only.” My cousin replied.

“I have next in 15 minutes.” Sonam answered.

“Thank you Sonam. I am fine, you can go to class. What about you, sister?” I addressed to beautiful girl inside and out.

“I too have next class.” She replied with hesitation.

“Thank you so much dear. You can go to class.”

“Are you sure, Ashim?” She asked me with genuine concern.

“Yeah! Absolutely. My cousin will take me to college infirmary to plaster and to do further checkup. Thank you.” I answered with the smile.

They went hurriedly, I thanked cook and we proceeded to infirmary with the snail’s pace. On the way, I heard the constant ringing of the gong for the next period.

“OHHHH…WAIT…WAIT…WAIT” we have bell system only in school not in colleges. Suddenly the sound of bell boomed louder and louder…I instinctively put my both hands in ear to protect my eardrum from bursting. It grew it irritating with passing seconds compelling me to open my eyes.

‘What!’ I inspect the environment in confusion. I was in my bed cuddling in a very odd position with left thumb nail piercing the right ankle and it was a dawn. An alarm clock on the mobile again ringed. I stopped it and checked the time. It reads boldly ‘6:05 am’. So ‘I was dreaming!’ I grinned sheepishly.

‘A dream so real’ I muttered while getting up.












Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sunday Morning :'(

Engulfed in melancholy,
Yearning for the lost treasure,
Repenting over the flown time,
Soaring with the regrets,
Sealing the memories,
Sparkling of the misty eyes,
I spent my Sunday morning,
Entering into the characters,
Watching a sad movie.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Things I ain't Really Proud of

Sometimes, we aren’t very proud of the things we did or are doing, but we can always prevent it from happening again. We can always be a better person from the person we were yesterday by working on the not very good habits of ours. Some incidents or people may influence and inspire you, but nobody can change you if you don’t want to. The only one who can change you is yourself, be it in a bad or good way. It’s in your hand to choose one.

Well, there are some things in fact lots of things I ain’t really proud of myself. Things I want to change or reform to see the better version of myself. Here are a long list of things;

1.      Waking early in the morning (week days) so I don’t have to rush to the morning classes and do things peacefully in a systematic order.

2.      Eating breakfast is must for everyone, so for me also. I don’t miss breakfast much, but sometimes when I am late for the class, I have to make a choice between the eating breakfast and attending class. So I usually opt for latter one, but I find hard to concentrate in the class and it is tedious with the growling of my empty stomach.   To achieve this goal, I will seriously work on 1st point.

3.      I need to take care of my eyes seriously. Within the span of three months, my eyesight has been worsening from -0.25 to -0.75, what an achievement, bravo! Even with the spectacles and sitting on the second row, I can’t properly read the things on board and slides projected on the wall. I must admit that I have been indeed very careless with foolish reason of the spectacle being too heavy. I will wear spectacle every time. (God! I hate it L)

4.      Friends and family have always been telling me to control my laughter (really loud?) in the public place (I am allowed to laugh openly in room *wink*). I would rather save myself getting punched from some angry fellow.

5.      Haha…. A bossy friend of mine has pointed out that after a month long internship in the winter, I have become a little bossy. So I want to eradicate that bossiness from me J

6.      I am sarcastic sometimes and I want to uproot the sarcasm plant completely from me. Hope it hasn’t fully grown to deep rooted tree, finger crossed ;)

7.      Well, now the social network fever have been subsided in me and I don’t chat much, when I do, I found myself communicating in a different language i.e. a language of short cut. I wasn’t very proud of that, so I am working on it and I am almost back to normal track but I need to be cautious and I am yet to recover fully.

These are my little contributions towards myself as of now. If any more comes up, I will update my list and myself and work on it. Many people might have habits they aren’t proud of, if you all have habits like me then make a list and work on itJ

Oh…wait…wait, I forgot to add one thing,

8.      Sleeping during day time, I sleep like a log (very, very bad habit). If I sleep then I have to sleep for minimum three hours, which cause massive destruction to my schedule and worst during examination time. So no sleeping during day time, hopefully.

Liebster Blog Award

I am very grateful to Ma'am Rima Reyka for considering me worth her nomination for Liebster Blog Award.  Thanks a lot J  and I want to apologize for taking long time to answer as I couldn’t keep in touch with the net for a few days. It is an immense pleasure to answer these questions which give me an opportunity to explore myself.

1. Describe your blog in 3 words.
à Being completely myself;
My blog is a temple where I worship, the playground where I play freely without having to worry about rules and limitations, a true friend whom I can share anything without being judged, sometimes a victim of my pouring frustrations (lucky me for not getting taunted back), a platform for my freedom of expression and it is a place where I can be completely myself.

2. Describe yourself in 3 words.
àIndependently fun loving;
In the cumulative year of my experiences and as a girl, I found that to be independent and strong is the weapon one must possess for living otherwise one will be tossed left and right by the dominant one. If we are dependent, then we are like a kite whose freedom is limited by the one who is holding the string.  I believe I am an independent and I am trying my best to be strong at every kind of situation.

We lose the essence of the life, if we forget to have fun in the life. I want to quote and translate the line of Ranbir Kapoor from movie Yeh Jhawani Hai Dewane “I want to fly, I want to run and I even want to fall but I just don’t want to stop.”  I am fun loving and doing crazy things, cheering family and friends and most of the time pulling their legs :D And I love children so much, they are such a cutie pie.

3. What kinds of blogs do you like to read and follow?
-> I guess I don’t limit myself to specific things to read. I like reading all kinds and when I have ample of time, I find myself clicking on ‘Next Blog’  on the top bar of the blog. But  regarding following the blog, I have been following only Bhutanese blog, except Overcome life by Ma’am Rima,I guess I need to expand my reading list by adding the international blog. J

4. What is something you wished more people knew about you?
-> Hmm… not exactly, but it would be better if people around me knew that I too get hurt sometimes :P Hahaa…I am always laughing,  joking, cheering and saying sorry always first to reconcile with family members and friends because I believe relationships are fragile which needs our utmost care J  

5. You’re in an awful mood. Who is the first person you call to cheer you up? 
-> Well, that would be myself cause I am the first person who would actually know that I am feeling bad. I try to cheer myself  by writing but I guess I can’t fully open up to people easily.

6. Who is the one person who knows you inside out and will always be there for you?
-> Phuntsho Choden of Shercol who happens to be from my village and my school mate.

7. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?
-> Anywhere free of racism, corruption, people who are equal, respect everyone irrespective of status and bank balance and a society free  of judgement. I guess there isn’t any place like that, is there?  If there is any, do inform me I would love to go.

8. If there was one thing you could change about the world, what would it be?
->It would be great if I could change the world being judgmental about everything without understanding.

9. If you had a day all to yourself, what would you do?
-> Hmmm….I don’t know, maybe I will be writing my weird thoughts J

10. Favorite food and why?
è I don’t have a favorite food as such, I love eating every vegetarian items.

My nominations for Liebster Blog Award are;

1.     Luzee of A Mother's Journey – A beautiful woman, heart warming mother and a great writer. My heart swells with emotion when I read her updates, it's her endless love for her daughter that glued me to her blog.

2.     Dechen of one SUN, many RAYS!  A new positive  blogger with not many updates but when she does, her every words are worth reading. I know, she has many inspiring and positive things to share with us. Looking forward to read more.  

3.     Tshering Delkar of THE OTHER SIDE OF ME . A friend of mine who has many touching stories and poem to share but is little reluctant to do. Nevertheless, I have yet to see OTHER SIDE OF HER. Do write and update. J

My questions to them are;
1. What does your blog mean to you?
2.  How you got introduced to blogging?
3. Three things the people don’t know about you?
4. The idea that changed your life?
5.  Most beautiful moment of your life?
6.   What do you value most in your life? 
7.  If Genie of Aladin appears before you and grant you three wishes, what          would be that three wishes?
8Anything you wish to change about yourself?
9. Your favorite quote?
10. If there was one thing you could change about the world, what would it be?

Do answer and nominate any three bloggers of your choice and ask any 10 questions to them. Good Luck :)

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Heart so Cold

Your coldness beats the winter’s snow,
Freezing the every live in it,
Your wrath matches the blazing  fire,
Burning the every knot of trust.
Your speech fails the volcanic ruptures,
Scalding every good memory.
Your strength has no matches,
Hurting every loved one.
Yet you smile notoriously,
And called yourself a real man?



Picture Courtesy: Google Images

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Being Honest :)


Ask me not a question,
I may not be able to answer.
Expect not the promises from me,
I may not be able to keep.
Force not a respect from me,
I would not be able to fake.
Demand not to trust you,
It's not a thing I can do in a second.
All I can do is to be honest,
And give my best.




The Plea to Life

Life! I cling to thy rope,
With the numerous ray of hope,
Booming with the positive weapon,
To dwindle the ‘pulling back factor’ to none.


Life! Enrich me not with the gold, but with the wisdom,
So I can dwell peacefully in a freedom.
Uproot  the plant of evil,
Give me a courage to conquer the upheaval.


Life! Its ok if you attached me with the strings of hurdle,
Just have faith and watch while I handle.
Give not upon me ever,
For I shall fight forever and ever.


Life! Let me shine,
So we can celebrate with a glass of wine.
We will take  a sip  with a little chit chat and a big smile,
And continue the journey of the mile.




Picture Courtesy: Bing Images