I typed, erased all, then
typed and again erased all. I slammed the laptop out of sheer frustration
unable write a word. The things I love seemed so distant, I wanted to write
something but my mind seems blank as I couldn’t compose a single line without having
to erase it. Damn! I cursed, which I have been doing a lot lately.
What? I asked, of course
not to the walls but to myself. I was looking inside my heart, it is so ugly, and
I have become the person I always detested. What am I doing to myself? I am losing
a battle against myself. How am I to win when I don’t know what I am fighting
for? It surely isn’t a battle but what is it, if it isn’t? I feel so lost,
never mind, not in the street but I can hardly locate where my mind is, don’t
tell me it is inside my brain because dear I am definitely not in a mood to
joke, so back off…precisely 10 feet away from me. Later on, don’t tell me if
you are a victim of my targeted accidental blow.
Haha…this is funny, excuse
my laugh I have this dreadful habit of laughing at serious situation.
“Darling, you need a
break.” I heard my inner voice.
“You mean Kitkat
break…ok…I will get one on the way to home.”
“Dummy, a break from the
work and life; a real break as in vacation, you need to go to exotic location
and dip your feet in a sauna, grab pile of books and read till your eyes tears
out and write a journal till you run out of ink.”
“So is that your definition
of a vacation?”
“No it isn’t but it is
what you really need at this moment.”
“Really, do I need this
kind of vacation?” I wrinkled my nose, questioning myself.
n.b:
I don’t know when I wrote this piece but it is so funny, I couldn’t help
posting. Surely, I needed a break that time.
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