Thursday, April 10, 2014

It Never Felt Same Again

A gentle breeze lightly brushed my bare arm reminding that I had stood long enough staring at the view of my village without actually looking at it.  A place where I truly belong right from the beginning, seems nothing had changed; its serenity of the place, the freshness of the air, empowering clear sky, refreshing warmth of natural greenery but I knew it was no longer the same village I loved visiting during vacation.

Unlike every year I no longer felt the enthusiasm to go to village as I knew that you will no longer hug me on my surprise arrival, I rather slowed my pace to prepare myself to endure your absence.  Memey was just back from fetching water. There was a fire in the oven but no warmth inside the home. There was no usual tempting smell from kitchen and I didn’t bother to check every pot to see what’s there inside. 

Your absence screamed at us; the dangling cobweb from the ceiling, the accumulated dust in the corner, the unwashed dishes in the sink, piles of clothes dumped on the bed and the mostly in the sunken eyes of Memey which kept searching the silhouette  of you in our eyes.

Like every year all aunts and uncles came to village for winter get-to-gather but it never felt same without you. I couldn’t play pranks to cousins knowing that you are not there to protect me if mother beats me. I didn’t sleep well on first night as I missed your warm cuddle and the story you used to tell. I didn’t hear the usual loud snoring of Memey we used to make fun of, and I wondered was he awake like me? Memey acted normal in every possible way he could but his eyes betray him as there was a hint of longing for you.

All the grownups were unusually silent. Nobody talked about you knowing the intensity of the pain they had to endure without breaking in front of each other. Unlike every year, we didn’t take a family photograph that year as we knew that our family was incomplete without you.

Achingly time fled quickly and we had to return to our places to resume the journey of our life. Abi, you said that I inherited the stubbornness from Memey but I had never been stubborn in my life like him at that moment. We all insisted that, for a change, he should come and stay with us. He adamantly said no and didn’t move an inch from where he stood. He said you hate loneliness. Every year when we went from the village after get-to-gather, he said you cried for whole day and wouldn’t sleep properly at night and ate rarely. He said “If I go now with you all and if your Abi will visit house in my absence, she will be very disappointed and sad to find an empty house.”
At that moment, every members of the family cried releasing the accumulated pain and infants cried because elder were crying.

That was the last family winter get-to-gather I witnessed. After that nobody came home during winter giving thousand reasons why they couldn’t come but I knew that it is because of only reason,  ‘your absence’.  It’s more than 7 years since you left us but we still miss you. Rest in peace, Abi _/\_



8 comments:

  1. death will come to all and before it does touch as many hrt as u cn coz life lived for the well being of others is the life worth lived. seems like ur grandma lead a worthy life. dont be sad think abt me i never got a chance to c my grandpa and grandma. i dont know wht its like to be loved by grand parents. atleast u have felt the warmth of their love. may ur grand ma's soul rest in peace.

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    1. You are right :) I am one of those among few children who got a chance to experience the warmth of grandparents love. And she was a simple and great woman. Thank you dear :)

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  2. What a beautiful and touching story Cheki! And sad too... Keep writing! Love to read more from you :)

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    1. Thank you always for your beautiful support :)

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  3. Uncomfortably a beautiful post. Just loved going through it. I very much like the beginning sentence. It's so touching. Keep writing Tshering.

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    1. Thank you sir for going through and do visit again.

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  4. Such a lovely story Cheki. Share us more

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    1. :) Thank you so much for being generous.

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