Yes! It’s freaking 3:03am in the morning and I can’t sleep. I need a reason to blame on, so there are group of boys who are shouting like barbarians at this hours. Seriously! What the hell is wrong with them to shout and wake whole campus? Or am I the only one who can’t sleep? Or what the hell is wrong with me for letting such a trivial issue bother me?
Here I am, at this hour, giving birth to millions of thought and wishing for an absurd thing which is likely to jeopardize my whole life. I am so messed up now and caught in a circle of confusion that I don’t know which is an end or a start. It pricks me like a hell.
I retrieve my words back. I am fine, I just sometimes lose my mind like today. Not a big deal, I can be quite dramatic sometimes, like taking a whole day off just to watch a match and souring my mood because India lost semifinal to Australia in ICC World Cup for whole night. By the way, I am still not over it. For the info, I am not a fanatic of cricket and I am amazed by the fuss I am creating over it. Incredible! Beyond my explanation and understanding.
Or like pushing away everyone from my life. It’s sad, some just walk away, but there are few who still cling on. I know, sometimes I am not an easy to be with but I appreciate the energy they put on to hold me together.
Thank god! They stopped shouting. Mercy sleep! Embrace me now, I have three appointments with lecturers today over the project discussion. A project which is wavering in a bizarre direction, fueling the anxiety in me. There are lots of pressure, this be the reason for the swings of my mood.
Oh God! Let this hurricane of my life pass without wrecking or creating much havoc in my life. ‘I am strong and I can do it.’ A mantra I am chanting every day to keep myself going. Remember the laws of attraction from ‘The Secrets’, if I keep on believing in positive things, I am likely to attract those things. *Sigh* Lord! Give me a strength.
I will close my eyes, shut my mind, zip my heart, blanket my body and order myself to sleep. But there is a seed of rebellion in me, sometimes I don’t even listen to myself. Today, looks like that seed has rooted in me. Let it be. May be, I will enjoy watching the breaking of dawn and the sunrise, first time ever in the history of my life.
Good Morning Life! Be Kind to Me :D :D :D